“Even though my behaviour has been horrible you have taught me, allowed me to get out of my shell and feel more confident in myself and shown me my passion for psychology and politics. You have honestly been a big impact in my life… You are more than a teacher, you’re a role model, an inspiration and an extraordinary human being”.
This is an excerpt from a card from one of my year 9 Psychology students who I had a few run ins over the year. I wasn’t expecting a message of this nature from her at at all but she starts the card off by thanking me for always believing in her. It’s funny who we make an impact on and how.
I believe that being a teacher is a really important job, and I was the best teacher I could be under challenging circumstances. But that’s not quite good enough for me or for the children I work with. So its not looking likely I’ll be teaching in a school come September but for the last 3 years I’ve given it a good shot.
Over the last week I’ve had a picnic with my favourite class, been sent several lovely messages, and students have popped by my office to say goodbye and give me lots of chocolate. AND my lovely colleagues splashed out and got me two fantastic books and a beautiful pair of earrings. So it’s a bitter sweet ending and I hope my next step will make me happier, more fulfilled and the best me I can be, especially if I am working with young people.
I feel like this is end of a chapter in my life, it wasn’t an easy decision to decide to leave but I am putting my happiness at the top of my life agenda. That includes letting go of people and circumstances that don’t make me happy. I don’t know what my next job will be or where I will be living in a few months which will be challenging for me. I hope by October that my life is more settled and I have found my way to more love, a new flat and a job that makes me fulfilled and happy. Wish me luck!
Resilience can be defined as the ability to bounce back. And boy, have I had to bounce back over the last month since I blogged. Yes, I went for the interview but decided that I didn’t want the job, even though it was pretty close to perfect. They also decided that they would give the job to someone else that could commit from October. I couldn’t. (Black History Month at school!) I started a demanding temp job as a telephone charity fundraiser and was ‘let go’ for not meeting targets. Add to this, a personal disagreement with a close friend, a few sleepless nights and the fear of financial instability rearing its head again. I felt emotionally bruised and physically exhausted.
What can you do when it seems like its all going wrong?
Re-evaluate, learn and move on.
Part of my interview was to coach my potential boss. It wasn’t my most fluid coaching session and this made me realise that I need to build coaching others regularly back into my life. I have had several great coaching sessions, some of which I have been paid for (yay!). Not only am I improving my practice, I am helping others as well. Karma- I hope you are listening!
The personal disagreement involved a young man and I recognised my ego was hurt. My ego was the one that was angry and felt slighted. I am starting to put into practice the adage “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it”. I am confident that I can resolve this situation in time and in the meanwhile recognise that I am ready for new situations and persons to come into my life.
Being fired was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I need financial stability and was willing to do a stressful job in order to fufil that need. That weekend was hard but I am lucky to have lots of friends to support me. I met up with a friend to go to the Geffreye Museum, had afternoon tea there and ended the day with several friends watching X factor and eating dahl. I booked a coaching session with my wonderful coach Shaline and am going start again.
I wrote about this particular week because I want to inspire you and give you hope.
Yes, shitty things will happen, but you can make good things come out of them.
Recognise your emotions for what they are.
Have faith that good things will come to you.
If you learn something from a defeat- it isn’t a loss.