I’ll be honest with you- as much as I like sharing, I don’t want to share the bad stuff. That’s natural right? Yes and No.
Leaving my job has been great in some ways and awful in others. I hope that sharing my ups and downs hopefully provides you with succor and inspiration at some point in your lives.
A recent blog post I read entitled Could your darkest Moment be a huge gift?, encouraged me to reframe my current position and recognise that recently I have gained a new perspective of my views on money and time.
Let’s start with Time.
From my last post, you know myself and time sometimes have an uneasy relationship. Given that I now work part time, I find myself with rather more time than I am comfortable with. However my good friend Livia shared with me that we have to break free of believing work has to be Monday to Friday, from 9am to 5pm. She showed me how she creates routine in the days she is not working by working on her personal projects. This was eye opening for me and I started to think about volunteering on a few of the days that I am off. I am also thinking about doing a season abroad.
Time works in two ways- I have so much free time that I find myself watching TV on my laptop for hours but also have the time to spend the night at friends houses because I don’t have to go to work the next day. I have seen more of my Dad and siblings because I can pop over there during the day. I have hung out at the Wellcome Collection with one of my old students and nipped into Somerset House whilst joining temp agencies. I joined Magda in visiting the Zabludowicz Gallery and had my first ice cream from Marine Ices. But sometimes its hard and I just stay indoors, glued to my laptop searching for jobs or just wasting time. Because time, unlike money, I have plenty of!
‘Money, money, money. Must be funny. In the rich man’s world’.
I do not consider myself a materialistic person, nor do I consider myself a person that values money highly apart from a means to an end. However having to live off off a small amount of money has forced me to use the money I have got in quite a different way. Walking to work is not only quick but free! Having a weekly travelcard seems like an expensive luxury, I think twice before spending £2 on one tube journey when I used to take the tube every day, sometimes several times in one day. Socialising has taken on a new hue, eating out is not an option so I have to cook. I have now learnt how to make a passable dahl and made a very nice vegetarian curry for a group of friends. I have learnt to ignore bills and am tempted to cancel my monthly contact lenses. I miss my old pay cheque (which now seems quite large!).
Transitional periods like this are difficult and I am hoping that i’ll get a part time job or volunteer placement soon. I have been reading Victor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning which has the existential premise of finding meaning in your life even in the most depressing and shocking of circumstances ( he has survived being in a concentration camp). I think that having more of a routine and something to do will help give me that meaning.
I am still trying to stay thankful- I am thankful to……
Livia for her support, advice and encouragement;
Brenda for listening and empathising with me and also cooking me an excellent dinner; Devina for asking me to cook Sunday dinner which I really enjoyed and for providing me with a style consultation;
Sam for listening to me and giving me some great pointers on work;
Matt for treating me to a lovely weekend in Leeds;
Hannah and Charlotte for my leaving present.
Paul for giving me a new work contact
and finally Mike for loaning me his SLR.